The Dreams of Hannah

I had this dream that I was watching this really lame British TV show starring John Goodman and Adam Pascal (who didn't look like Adam at all, he looked like Norbert actually). They both had on business suits and Adam/Norbert was playing this British guy who hated Americans but for some reason was going to have to entertain some at his business office or something, so John Goodman (although I typed "Goomdan" which is really funny to say) was teaching him how to talk with an American accent (although he himself was apparently British). Adamnorbert really didn't want to, he kept giving John Goodman these ticked looks. One of the things he was trying to get Adamnorbert to do was say all the numbers with an American accent. "Just pretend that you just see the numerals, and they're all American," was his helpful advice on this subject.

At one point John Goodman dropped a four-dollar bill on the floor (hmm, dollars, not euros... guess he's Americanizing it futher) and gave Adamnorbert a name: Six. He said, "Six, pick up four." And then when Adamnorbert went to pick it up, John Goodman kicked him and did some weird little dance step and it was the end of that section of the show.

It moved on to the second section which was John Goodman, out of character now, playing himself, sitting behind a desk commenting on the skit. "You know, you may not be aware of this," he tells his viewing audience, "but we play the skit and have to re-tape it all the time because we mess up, and seventy-five percent of the time go with the original tapings anyway because it looks better." At this point some chick brought him a coffee cup and set it on his desk. He said thank you to her and then kept talking to us. "And I was wondering as I was shaving this morning, 'What would it be like to see an all-live broadcast?' So here's a special treat for you, an all-live reperformance of that skit!"

I was watching this in the bathroom upstairs and was, needless to say, unenthused by this intro and turned off the TV. I then looked out the window of the bathroom and flipped out because sitting outside on the swingset was the semi-silhouetted-but-quite-obviously-only-loincloth'd figure of some like 90-year-old guy. I was so freaked out by this that I just sorta stood there at the window trying to figure out if I was seeing it right, and then I went downstairs and told Mom.

There was also a portion of the dream in which I went to the college and the hallways were piled high with stacks of folded T-shirts, as were all the offices and classrooms. I was very frustrated because I kept trying to get to my class but was having difficulty stepping over all the T-shirts.

Labels: adam pascal, john goodman, norbert

I dreamed that this soldier from ancient Rome, who actually looked a lot like Radames from Aida, and a Native American princess, who looked like Pocahontas, fell in love. Except the princess was already engaged to someone from her tribe named Macarthur. Authentic Native American name there. So Radames-from-Rome (henceforth referred to as RFR) cut off Macarthur's foot... real nice guy... and then he sent him to this painting class in Rome three times a week. Macarthur was, for some reason, eternally grateful to RFR, proclaiming, "I get to leave the village three times a week? OKAY!"

So RFR and the princess have their li'l secret rendezvous with Macarthur none the wiser. So scrupulous. And this really does sound Aida-esque. One day RFR goes to the painting class to see how Macarthur is doing, but Macarthur's not there. In fact, no one's there. There are desks all over the room, but the only person there is an English scrub lady who informs him that Macarthur knows all about them and has gone off to kill RFR.

RFR races back to the village, and then we cut to Macarthur arriving there, needless to say a little slow since he only has one foot. He arrives and sees the Indian chief, who informs him that he has already sold the princess to RFR. Macarthur watches sadly as RFR and the princess ride off in a Colonial covered wagon (what historical place and time IS this story in anyway?!)

Suddenly, the princess LEAPS out of the wagon and starts barreling back toward the Indian chief in slow mo, yelling, "Daaaaaaaaaddddddyyyyyyyyyyyy!" and the Indian chief runs toward her in slow motion and it's all very weird and cheesy reuniting after being apart a whole three seconds. (And what will be RFR's reaction to this?) Then the chief pulls out a camera and tries to take a picture of the princess as he's running toward her, but then he accidentally drops the camera into the ocean which is, incidentally, next to the field of grass they're running to. And then they embrace lovingly and it's the end.

Labels: adam pascal, aida, pocahontas