The Dreams of Hannah

I dreamed I was an hour late to my Creative Writing final (which isn't really a final at all, we're just folding and stapling the litmag) so I just didn't show up. Then I went to my instructor's house to ask her if there was anything I could do to make up for it. She said, "No, I'm sorry, if you miss the final, you flunk the class. Sorry, there's nothing I can do. It's a rule." I thought she was going to be really ticked at me, but she was very pleasant about it.

Then Christy showed up at my house and told me she had an opportunity to interview Norbert and did I want to come along? I said of course I did, but when we got to his house, he was like a drunken mess and just kept talking about weird random stuff. I got scared and left.

Labels: amanda e, christy, norbert

I dreamed my grandma was at my house and she had an MP3 player. She asked me if I'd heard this song, and played a disco version of Love Is My Legs. I asked her if she'd heard the real one, but she said, no, she'd only heard this one. Then I told her that they created an entirely new category in the Tonys for that song. "They created the category of 'Most Humorous Song,' just so they'd be able to give a Tony to this song."

Labels: dirty rotten scoundrels, grandma m, norbert, tonys

I dreamed I went to see DRS and was like in the second row. (Actually a bunch of people from some of my classes were there too but they ignored me most of the time.) During "Give Them What They Want" Norbert came and sat in an empty seat at the end of my row. He was wearing this really weird purple suit, and was just chatting with people throughout the song (nothing much was really going on during it anyway). One of the guys sitting next to me turned to me and was like, "What DO you see in that guy?" So I began staunchly defending him, and then he went and climbed up onto the stage and started singing "Love Is My Legs". Just a little bit out of order there.

The old lady on the other side of me suddenly turned to me and began chatting nonstop and I kept trying to get her to STOP, but she was just going on and on about, like, her nephew or something. Norbert kept glaring at her throughout the song and then glaring at me and I was trying to indicate I was trying to stop her.

There was also a part where he took me to the DRS gift shop. It was full of books and CDs that were not related to DRS, so I had a ton of fun browsing. I was also wearing POTO Christine's going-to-visit-her-father cloak for some reason. And then Norbert randomly danced with me and then went back onstage, but I stayed in the gift shop and then was very sad because I realized I'd missed him singing "Great Big Stuff".

John Lithgow was still in the show, too, I remember that...and at one point he decided to jump from the sidewalk outside the theater up to like, the thirtieth floor. He made it, too.

And then there was also a part where I was watching a live feed of the show since I had missed most of it, due to being in the gift shop.

Labels: dirty rotten scoundrels, john lithgow, norbert, phantom of the opera

I dreamed there was a very large, very creepy windstorm outside. Both Mom and Dad had been killed. For a short time Norbert was in our house, but then he was killed, too. As I was washing dishes, I noticed his cell phone sitting on the kitchen counter. I opened it up and really it worked like an Ipod. It had four songs on it, three of which were dark, scary, chanting music. The fourth was "Shiksa Goddess". I was really relieved that I had something cheery to listen to if I needed it.

A bit later Caitlin, Annie, and Laura all showed up. Caitlin and Annie showed up at my house to surprise me on their way home from Mexico, and Laura was just sitting at my computer playing Petz 3.

Suddenly I discovered I'd deleted "Shiksa Goddess", and this fact distressed me more than all the deaths.

Labels: annie, caitlin, dad, laura, mom, norbert, the last 5 years

I had this dream that I was watching this really lame British TV show starring John Goodman and Adam Pascal (who didn't look like Adam at all, he looked like Norbert actually). They both had on business suits and Adam/Norbert was playing this British guy who hated Americans but for some reason was going to have to entertain some at his business office or something, so John Goodman (although I typed "Goomdan" which is really funny to say) was teaching him how to talk with an American accent (although he himself was apparently British). Adamnorbert really didn't want to, he kept giving John Goodman these ticked looks. One of the things he was trying to get Adamnorbert to do was say all the numbers with an American accent. "Just pretend that you just see the numerals, and they're all American," was his helpful advice on this subject.

At one point John Goodman dropped a four-dollar bill on the floor (hmm, dollars, not euros... guess he's Americanizing it futher) and gave Adamnorbert a name: Six. He said, "Six, pick up four." And then when Adamnorbert went to pick it up, John Goodman kicked him and did some weird little dance step and it was the end of that section of the show.

It moved on to the second section which was John Goodman, out of character now, playing himself, sitting behind a desk commenting on the skit. "You know, you may not be aware of this," he tells his viewing audience, "but we play the skit and have to re-tape it all the time because we mess up, and seventy-five percent of the time go with the original tapings anyway because it looks better." At this point some chick brought him a coffee cup and set it on his desk. He said thank you to her and then kept talking to us. "And I was wondering as I was shaving this morning, 'What would it be like to see an all-live broadcast?' So here's a special treat for you, an all-live reperformance of that skit!"

I was watching this in the bathroom upstairs and was, needless to say, unenthused by this intro and turned off the TV. I then looked out the window of the bathroom and flipped out because sitting outside on the swingset was the semi-silhouetted-but-quite-obviously-only-loincloth'd figure of some like 90-year-old guy. I was so freaked out by this that I just sorta stood there at the window trying to figure out if I was seeing it right, and then I went downstairs and told Mom.

There was also a portion of the dream in which I went to the college and the hallways were piled high with stacks of folded T-shirts, as were all the offices and classrooms. I was very frustrated because I kept trying to get to my class but was having difficulty stepping over all the T-shirts.

Labels: adam pascal, john goodman, norbert